Parents who have been through the ‘tweens’ and ‘teens’ will testify that no matter the size of your child, their emotions at this stage, are so much bigger than they are.
As you walk alongside your puberty-stricken child, it’s you that has to keep your feet on the ground, walk your child through this phase, and be a role model. It’s a trying time for both of you as you keep reminding yourself that adolescent emotions are way bigger than the child.
We advise that you encourage your child to consider the following recommendations.
Identify the emotion – be aware of how you feel. When you have a negative emotion, such as anger, try to name what you’re feeling. Check in with your body, too – perhaps your face gets hot, or your muscles get tense. Try to name what you’re feeling.
- Sometimes my best friend makes me mad. Why?
- I get jealous when my best friend invites someone else to her/his home – and not me.
- I feel afraid when I wait alone for you to collect me from school.
Take action… Once you’ve processed what you’re feeling, you can decide if you need to speak about your emotion. Sometimes it’s enough to just realise how you feel, other times you’ll want to do something to feel better. Talk things over with a parent, an adult you trust, or a friend. Go for a walk or a run because exercise helps the brain produce natural chemicals that promote a positive mood, and that can release stress.
You may need help with difficult emotions. That’s when a consultation with a professional therapist or counsellor could be of benefit.
It is advisable to ask your child leading questions such as:
- Remember the last time you were very emotional? How could you have handled it better?
- When you are a parent, what’s the number one rule you’ll give your children?
- Do you know how to say no when everyone else is saying yes?
- What do you think are some good habits to have daily? What are some bad ones?
- What is one habit you would like to stop – or start?
- What are the positives and negatives of having a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Our professional team at Capulum College understands the difficulties related to adolescence, and with the help of in-house speech and language therapists, and occupational therapists, we are able to guide you and your child over this phase. Read more