Help children develop confidence

Building confidence in children, especially those with special needs, is about equipping them to face challenges with courage – not about eliminating conflicts. Guide children to brainstorm their own answers. Questions such as ‘what else could you try?’, empower them to solve their own problems.

At the heart of confidence-building is unconditional acceptance, followed by encouragement, structure, independence, and strong relationships. They all can help children develop confidence and a sense of self-worth that will serve them throughout their lives.

Acceptance: Children need to feel valued for who they are, not measured against rigid standards or compared with others. For children with special needs, this means recognising their abilities as well as their challenges. Feeling accepted creates a safe foundation from which confidence can grow. When adults focus on what a child struggles with, confidence can erode.

Encouragement: By highlighting strengths – be they creativity, kindness, persistence, or problem-solving – children learn that they have something worthwhile to offer. Instead of general praise such as ‘good job’, use specific, effort-based praise. For example, say, ‘I saw how hard you worked on that puzzle’.

Structure: Children with special needs, especially those with autism thrive on routine, which provides a sense of stability and control.

Independence: Allowing children to make choices, solve problems, and take responsibility, appropriate to their age and ability, helps them develop self-trust. For children with special needs, independence may look different, but it is no less important. Simple opportunities such as choosing clothes, helping with household tasks, or expressing preferences send a powerful message: ‘your voice matters’. Contributing to the family makes children feel capable and a valued, essential member. Each step toward independence strengthens self-esteem and confidence.

Relationships: Encourage your child to talk and indulge in communication to express how he/she feels about things. Respect for you and your ideas will follow if you do the same. This encourages the confidence to speak up.

Positive reinforcement is another essential tool, particularly important for children with special needs, who may require more time or alternative approaches to master certain skills. Celebrating small victories, such as completing a task independently or attempting something new, builds a sense of achievement. These moments accumulate and help children see themselves as capable and progressing, even if their journey looks different from that of their peers.

Confidence-building is especially important for children with special needs, because they often face additional barriers such as learning differences, physical challenges, communication difficulties, or social stigma. With understanding, patience, and consistent support, adults can play a powerful role in nurturing self-belief in every child.

Remember to: Tell your children you love them – and hug and kiss them as often as possible. These verbal and physical expressions help them grow as loving and empathetic individuals.