Honesty is the foundation of trust in relationships

For children honesty starts with parents being truthful. As a parent you should focus on saying what you mean and meaning what you say – neither exaggerate nor tell ‘white lies’. If you don’t follow through with your words, your children will come to believe that nothing anyone says can be relied upon.

Teaching honesty should start at an early age because honesty is the foundation of trust in relationships – from our social interactions to our careers. Honesty and trust go hand in hand and tools such as honesty activities are fun-filled ways to help children grasp the importance of being trustworthy.

Parents are advised to start teaching honesty before a lie may have been told. Emotions run high when a child’s truthfulness is questioned, and he/she may defend the lie. Avoid calling your child a liar – rather focus on why the act of lying may not be the best option.

Rewards help children associate an action as something positive so rewarding your child for being honest is a way to encourage truth telling and will create a trusting environment at home.

Carefully thought out, moderated reprimands can also help children understand the negative consequences of being dishonest. When using this approach, it is important to maintain the trust between you and your child.

Here are a few suggested honesty games you could play.

Fill a jar with water. Your child will drop a coin – which symbolises a lie – into the middle of the jar. Now drop more coins – symbolising apologies – into the jar to cover up the ‘lie’. It takes many ‘apologies’ to cover up that one ‘lie’. Once that it realised you could ask:

• Have you ever told a lie?
• Has anyone lied to you? How did that make you feel?
• Do you like being told the truth?

Give your child his/her favourite sweet to eat. Once swallowed ask for it back. This may cause confused on the part of your child. Now explain that the sweet symbolises a lie, and once it is taken in, it is difficult to take back. Once this concept has been understood ask questions such as:

• Is it possible to justify a lie?
• Should you hide the truth from a person?

Tell your child a story with situations that are not true and then ask for the true version of the story. Explain that such stories may be fun, but they don’t tell us what is true in the real world. Stress how telling the truth is always best.